Bling My Bag

I recently got a new company-issued laptop.  It's a behemoth, a 17-inch with a battery back that adds another two or three inches behind the hinge to its girth.  This presented a serious problem for me.  It won't fit into my cute laptop roller bag.  In fact, I scrolled through many websites and could not find anything it would fit in for less than $400.  

I ended up with this bag.  It's company-issued, it fits my laptop, and it's . . . well . . . meh.  I feel like I got lost on my way to LAX.  It needs something, that je ne sais pas that magically transforms it.  So that's where you all come in.  Please help me transform this blah bag.


Here are the constraints:

1. It has to be work-ready.  Nothing that is going to get me stereotyped into the cat lady or the nutty Disneyphile, for example.  It goes without saying that it can't be risque or involve anything NSFW.
2. The design has to be theoretically removable.  This means that with some work I could take it off if I ever have to give the bag back to the company.  However, the likelihood that they will want it back after I am done with it is in reality pretty small.  Which brings me to the next constraint . . . 
3. It has to be durable.  The reason I didn't just go with a cute tote is that I am hard on "stuff".  I break things, spill things, swing things around.  And if I don't, DD surely will.  So it has to be built to last.  
4. I can follow directions fairly well, even semi-complicated ones, but I am no da Vinci.  If you give me a pattern, I might be ok.

That's it.  Design away!  Please give me your ideas; I'll post the finished product as soon as it's done and make sure you receive your due credit.